Now this is the story all about how I forgot I had a blog and then remembered and then butchered some song lyrics.
It’s true. I forgot. And my loyal readers have been neglected (all two of you…one of whom is me). But no longer! Here I am! Declaring that I have no idea what to say but don’t want you to forget me. I don’t like to be forgotten. I like people to check in at least once a day to let me know they are alive and in doing so reminding me that they remember and love me. I actually don’t care if they’re alive. This is about me.
I know three people who have been to Disney in the past month and yet I still do not own light-up Minnie Mouse ears. That’s just something I’ve been thinking about in relation to people proving their love.
Listen, it’s the holiday season and it’s winter and I just need a lot of validation right now, okay? VALIDATE ME.
Here are some things I’ve loved in 2017 in no particular order:
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel – it almost makes me want to try Gilmore Girls again, that’s how good it is. You can find it on Amazon Prime. And you should. It’s all about a funny woman coming into her own despite her deadbeat husband, so I relate a lot. Minus the deadbeat husband and being funny and doing stand-up because I need validation but I will NEVER step on a stage to get it, omg.
The new Taylor Swift album, which I didn’t WANT to like. I tried so hard. But I can’t help it. It’s so good. Like, maybe the best? I still wish the old Taylor were alive, but I guess new Taylor is fine.
Anyway, those two things came out in November and that’s as far back as I can remember. I’m pretty sure I liked things before that. What else happened this year? This has been the shortest but also longest year of my life.
My boss’s son is doing a project on how time changes as you age. He’s asking people of all ages to sit in a room one at a time and guess when it’s been a minute. I did not volunteer because I 100% know that I will sit in that room and count the seconds in order to be as close to one minute as possible. Time may change as I age, but that doesn’t mean I have to be wrong about it. Being wrong is almost as bad as being forgotten. People wonder why I’m so quiet in real life and that is why. What if I misquote a fact or what if I’m ignored? Also people terrify me, but if anybody asks it’s mostly that other stuff.
Okay, now I have remembered you, and now it’s your turn to remember me. I love you. Happy holidays. Happy New Year. Don’t drink and drive. Also don’t text and drive. Basically don’t do anything other than drive when you are driving because the truth is I actually DO care whether or not you’re alive and I prefer alive.