Nothing has changed. Every year I think that when I wake up on my birthday I’ll magically feel different. Maybe because this was a big year for me I believed it again. When I was little I couldn’t wait to be sixteen, but sixteen was only just fine. Then I was excited for twenty-five and twenty-five was mediocre and then thirty! I was so excited to be thirty, like this would be my decade, but thirty ended up being my worst year ever and thirty-one and thirty-two were better but three is my lucky number! Now I am two of my lucky number! This is going to be my year! I can feel it! I’ve only been thirty-three for a couple days so reality hasn’t yet set in. I’m still optimistic. I mean, I didn’t jump out of my bed on Tuesday to find birds mending clothes and fixing my hair but I did find that my mousetrap, which has been there since the Great Mouse Incident last spring, had caught a mouse, so the animals were attempting to be there for me but I killed them because as it turns out I don’t actually want that.
One good thing about my birthday was that I strategically planned my trip to New York and my ticket to see HAMILTON for the weekend before my birthday. I saw Hamilton three days before my birthday and two days before it won a PULITZER. A freaking Pulitzer. LMM is living all of my dreams. Genius Grant! Pulitzer! If he wins a Nobel like I guess I just give up on life? God help and forgive me, I want to build something that’s gonna outlive me. (The Room Where it Happens is my favorite song in Hamilton and seeing it live was the best thing that’s ever happened to me, like COME ON, Leslie Odom Jr., just be real because you are not human.)
[Insert picture here of LOJ leading the dancers but I’m too stupid for wordpress]
Anyway, I will probably never win a Genius Grant or a Pulitzer and definitely not a Nobel, but if I’m going to get close it’s going to start this year, my thirty-third year. I hate numbers but I BELIEVE in them. They are fact. You can’t fake numbers.
I will also probably never write a musical but I also really want to do that. There are a millions things I’ll never do, but just you wait? It’s healthy to have dreams.
It’s going to be a good year.