Listen guys, I had a really amazing blog post planned about like 2015 in review and 2016 goals and hopes and dreams and I vaguely remember discussing stealing things, because that seems to be a theme I keep returning to, but I wrote it in my head at a coffee shop yesterday while I was writing a BOOK and not a blog post and so I don’t remember any of it.
Speaking of the coffee shop, I rarely have cash so when I do I like to tip at all of the places I normally go. So I ordered and tipped and sat, waiting for them to call my order, which took approximately twenty minutes even though there was nobody in line ahead of or behind me AND the order was wrong. So I guess I’m asking, in this situation, is it okay to take the tip back? Like, look, normally you’re great, but this time you really screwed up and don’t deserve this, so let’s try again when I have cash again, probably next holiday season. I didn’t take my tip back. I also didn’t tell them my order was wrong because I don’t like conflict. I mean, it was fine. It just wasn’t what I ordered. So why make a big deal about it. Right? Hi, you can put me in front of your door because I am a doormat.
I’m addicted to new beginnings. I make New Year’s Resolutions every year and then I make new ones at the change of each season. Like, “these are my spring resolutions!” and “these are my summer resolutions!” etc. I rarely stick to any of them, but I love imagining that I will. I just love beginnings. I love meeting people, but having to keep up conversation/relationship is confusing and scary. I love starting new books, but I never know how to end them. Endings are the worst. When my grandma was sick and in the hospital everyone KNEW she was dying. SHE knew she was dying. Rather than say goodbye I said, “feel better, see you soon,” because that’s how bad I am at endings/goodbyes. That got super personal. The point is, I love the feeling of starting again, of starting over. The past two years have been…not great. But at the end of last year things started feeling like they were falling into place and I’m super excited for 2016 and being able to sort of put myself together again. It’s exciting. I’m excited.
I will probably still never tell the barista my order was wrong, but one step at a time is my new motto.